What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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