How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

Women can vote? wtf

knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

I agree

A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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