A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Pianos.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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