A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

i dont care if you rate me or not

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's one plus one? two.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops