Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

wanna hear a joke? i dont

Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Your mother just died.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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