A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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A dyslexic blind man

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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test test

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops