Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Penis.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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I'm funny.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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