What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Swag.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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