Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

420

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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