Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -82

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +57

equality for women

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops