Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

you gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops