What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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david weres the slug gone

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Here is the worst joke ever. ..... Dislike this and you are awesome!! P.S. I'm serious. I want to make a joke with the MOST DISLIKES ever! Don't think this is reverse psychology. I don't do that shi*t.

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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