What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

thumb_up thumb_down -13

http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops