Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ded on boomer and aodddan

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops