How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Potassium? K.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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Do you love me? No.

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your mom

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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