what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's red and funny? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

men

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -22

my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's red, blue & green all over?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops