What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Are you a tree

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Three black men were walking...

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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guess what chicken butt

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops