Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why did joe drown ? he had no arms

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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