YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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a man is running away

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's 9+10? 19

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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Why do girls not have penises? Because there girls

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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