What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

So many dudes win with your mom who even knows if i'm your father!!

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

what?

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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