What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Snarf Nuggets

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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