What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

A cow says moo and explodes.

What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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