A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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