How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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what do you call a dead black man? dead

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Womens rights

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Write Your Own ___________________________________________ It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ____________________________________________ I have read and agree to the Terms of Service- VIEW TERMS OF SERVICE

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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