how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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Take off your shoes.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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