"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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