Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

Knock knock Come In.......

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

Video Games

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

Alex Eggbert

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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