What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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