What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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