why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the joke below me is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A women walks out of a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's big and black? A black fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops