Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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