Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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