Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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