Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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KARL KARASHIAN - FACEBOOK

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops