- Anti Joke

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

[Insert anti-joke here]

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

To you to which this may concern: Nero Septimus, known as Nero7, left me in charge of the order, while I know many do not consider me a worthy leader, I share if but one trait except humanity with Nero7, I could not care less about what you care about me, you WILL follow me if you want, and likewise GTFO if you do not, Nero7 told me that his mistake was allowing too many people follow him half assed, taking advantage of his wisdom and then mock him for the advice that was beyond what you where able to understand... ...It is this that led to the downfall of the old order, all we can do now, is to gather those of you that want to follow me, his chosen successor to the letter, or I will kick your fucking ass out of the Order, because as you do know if you listened: "We do not do mistakes, if we accept that what we are actually making, are experiences, then we have simply learned something new, and if said experience is unpleasant, we accept that we have simply learned how to never experience it again" So I will allow no one to take advantage of me, to laugh behind my back, not without breaking your skull, and allowing you to watch as I shut your family inside your own home, and set fire to it, Treat me well and we can together design our future to our liking, treat me bad, and your future on earth ends where you stand, zero tolerance, so consider your actions well... ...This as I will rather follow my ancestors line alone, than with scum like those of you that react in shock as you read this statement, remember that it was your own goddamn fault that he died, and that while he never told us his true age because he did not know himself, this was because he was beaten so badly as a kid, that he one day lost much of his memory... To the contrary of common belief, he was merely 31 years old according to several tests, and despite many of your comments, his IQ which he never shared because he just as me believes if fucking bullshit, was of 178, a fucking genius, to those of you that are fucking stupid enough to care... ...Those of you that are NOW going "OMG HE WAS TRULY A GENIUS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING NUMBER!" Will NEVER RETURN if you are concerned for your life and the safety of your family. I might not wear an fist made of steel, but as all of those of you that attended to his funeral and read his last will, the order is no longer a place for those that want to follow me half assedly. In other words, those that want to follow me, are from today under my rule, and I need no said prosthetic, because I will not only lead, but also rule with an iron fist. For what you allowed to happen, which cost the life of many of out kin, including the one of our wise young and talented leader, I expect absolutely no one to return to our last stronghold at the hour you can fucking decipher yourself from this statement alone. ...So know that if you respected the greatest leader there where, you will follow me, and that since our order has no room for failure, those that might return and "fail" to follow the new rules, the new order, will either willingly face the consequences which consist of very unpleasant experiences and then leave, or not meet up at all. I need none of those that failed our great leader whose failures led to his death and the death of countless of our own kin, so my goal will be finding new people, this does not mean that those willing to bow down before me and tell me you have learned from your fucking mistakes, will not be given a chance anew. Still ladies and gentlemen formerly of the order of old, know that I am not alone, know that while we are few, we still consist of those that would never dare laugh his back, and that we are powerful enough to grow beyond what the rest of humanity has, and will ever see, And that if you decide to follow us, the council, and me as its leader, then neither you will be alone. We accept mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but accepting failure, and failing to follow us on purpose, will cost you far more, than what you alone can pay with. "If we fall, we rise again wiser and stronger, having learned by our experiences, for what are we, if we keep making those experiences does not matter, what matters is knowing that if we do the same mistakes, we will one day be no more" Nero Septimus,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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