why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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deez nuts

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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