Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops