what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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