There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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