Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: knok knok A: Im home

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops