How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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