What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops