What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

The AIDS patient was gay

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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