What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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whats dumb and small? dandruff

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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