Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Netflix and chill

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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God

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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