Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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YES! EXACTLY!

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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