When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

The black man leaves the strip club.

This one time at band camp....

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

What's worse than World War II? World War III.

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

What time is it? 20:45.

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

hi

Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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