where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Hillary Clinton

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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