Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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whats a dick a dick

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops