What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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I can't see my forehead

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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