Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops