Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

thumb_up thumb_down +34

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Do you know what's not right? Left.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops